Tis the season to have birthdays.

December is a month to celebrate many a birthday. Especially in my surrounds.
Here's the list.
First it's my daughters 10th birthday, double digits, it's a big one in the school yard.

My girlfriends birthday is next. I love you honey, here's to a grand weekend.

It's my mums birthday on the same day (I won't nominate her age).
My mums cousins birthday also on the same day.
next is my mums cousins grand-daughter.
My girlfriends mums birthday.
My sister in law.
My good friends youngest son.
My sons best friend.
and finally my newphew has his birthday in between christmas and new year.

Christ, there's another one in December, oh yeah, his.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EVERYONE !!!!

I hope this doesn't happen while I'm away.

So I'll be on "holidays" soon, well if you can call moving house a holiday then that's what I'll be on. While I'm away from the office, I'd hat to come back to find this sort of welcoming at my desk.















or this,















or this,
















Or this,





















or this,





















or this,















So guys, don't even think about it. I know where you work.

Croquets

Gialuca DiMilano asked me this: “Mr Clockeeeey, you are expert in the sports, no. And you are an austrian, no? May be can you explain me. What is croquet? I'm know is a very popular game in your country. is true that the austria was lose to the england and the england was win an ash tray and the england peoples was go craze like they was win the war again? is a true?”

Well here is the definition I like:
You have two sides, one out in the field and one in.
Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out.
When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out.
Sometimes you get men still in and not out. When a man goes out to goin, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in.
There are two men called umpires who stay all out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out.
When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including thosewho are not out, that is the end of the game!

Easy huh?


But, for a more technical description of the game of cricket, follow this link -> Croquet Definition

As for the Ash Tray, we actually grew a little tired of it and it needed a clean out anyway. You know, when the barman comes along and finally takes it away to throw the butts out, that’s England, they are the barman. They’ve taken it away to clean it and we’ll get it back on their next visit (Jan 2007) and they’ll even bring it with them. Aren’t they good? The English have been starved of success you see, The 1966 World Cup is the last real trophy of any significance they had to celebrate. The Rugby cup is really a tournament between 4 countries, the rest are window dressing. The Olympics and the Commonwealth games have provided no enjoyment for the English and neither has Wimbledon or tennis in general. How much longer can Tim Henman lose?
It is true thought, between the end of WW2 and the World Cup 1966, nothing much happened for the English. (Did Spain try to invade? maybe not)
So it was inevitable that when the won the Ash Tray, they didn’t remember how to celebrate. They stood at Nelsons Column and waved a flag. Woo Hoo.

I hope that helps answer your question. Any other Austrian questions, don’t hesitate to ask.


PS: Did anyone notice that Marcia Hines did not clap or cheer when Kate won Aussie Idol? Is she a bad sport?

Ole, Ole, Ole, Ole.

Ole, Ole, Ole, Ole....
Olaaayyy
Olaaayyy

Ole, Ole, Ole, Ole...
Olaaayyy
Olaaayyy

Ole, Ole, Ole, Ole....
Olaaayyy
Olaaayyy

Ole, Ole, Ole, Ole...
Olaaayyy
Olaaayyy

Tickets have been booked.
Australia is on it's way to Germany.
Guus think we can go all the way. I think he's spent a little too much time in Amsterdam, but you never know.

Ole, Ole, Ole, Ole....
Olaaayyy
Olaaayyy

Ole, Ole, Ole, Ole...
Olaaayyy
Olaaayyy

Ole, Ole, Ole, Ole....
Olaaayyy
Olaaayyy

Ole, Ole, Ole, Ole...
Olaaayyy
Olaaayyy

Socceroos or Uruguay?

In this part of the world, all the sporting focus will be on Telstra Stadium on Wednesday night. Uruguay are defending a 1-nil lead and hoping to make the final 32 of the 2006 World Cup. After so many disappointments, the Socceroos have another chance to make heroes of themselves. All they have to do is score 2 goals more than Uruguay. The question for the coach is will you attack or will you play the same as in Uruguay and hope to fluke a goal. Then it will be up to Uruguay to attack, which could open up the game. Good luck boys.

The current set of test matches have captured the imagination, not! The Aussies and the Windies tests are going to be boring affairs, as evidenced by the first test and the two tour games the Windies have played. They have been well below par, possibly on the same level as Bangladesh. All we want is a contest.

Sad news on the sports entertainment front with the death of the wrestling superstar Eddie Guerrero. The circumstances around his death are not clear, he had a major battle with drugs and alcohol a few years ago and there is speculation that drugs may have played a part here, but that is pure speculation. After taking all those "beatings" and bleeding foreheads and entering the stage in his low riders, Eddie has gone before his time. Although, there is always this nagging thing at the back of my neck which says maybe he will be resurrected at Wrestlemania 25. Somehow, I don't think so.

Time to go and prepare the Aussie flag for driving up and down Lygon St when we win tomorrow night.

See ya, sports fans.

Songs I used to hate.

Years ago I used to like all sorts of music, ELO, Beatles, Rolling stones, Led Zepplin, Deep Purple, ACDC, bands like that. Who did I hate? Pretty much everyone my sister liked. Abba topped the list and then closely followed by Duran Duran, then there was all the electronic based music of the 80's, the new romantics movement, Moving Pictures, as I said, anything my sister liked. Now that I'm older, it's ironic, I know all the words to all the Duran Duran songs, Abba songs, ABC songs, Spandau Ballet songs the list goes on. There was one song though that I did enjoy when Duran Duran released it, Girls on Film. Probably not the song, more the film clip and especially when at the time, channel 10 used to play video clips late at night and could show them uncut. My sister had a massive crush on Alex Smith from Moving Pictures (we used to call him big nose), in fact she called the pub they were playing at one night, I think it was the Corner hotel in Richmond and to her amazement, he took her call. She was so shocked, all she could say to him was "Hi, I'm one of your biggest fans" (I'm sure he'd never heard that before). I just remembered the Adam Ant phase as well, again, I know all the words and melodies of his "hits" too. There is also all that 70's Disco music, Bee Gees, Motown and all the rest. It is all latent memory stuff, it's been lying dormant waiting for a release. Does this mean it will be used against me when I'm older? If only I could sing.

Twenty things about Clokeeeey.

1. I learnt to swim at age 32.
2. I was born at 11:59 on the 5th but mum and dad decided to put 12:01 on the birth documentation so that I could have the whole of the 6th as my birthday.
3. I enjoy watching the NFL, even though I don’t fully understand the game and the tactics.
4. My uncle took me to my first VFL game, Collingwood v Fitzroy semi final in 1979.
5. Don’t tell anyone but up until I was 6 years old, I supported Carlton. I was coaxed across to Collingwood by my Uncle. My dad barracked for North Melbourne and my Grandfather was a Fitzroy man.
6. My dad used to work 10-12 hour days, 7 days a week (at his own business) so that we could have what he didn’t as a child. He was strict but fair.
7. My uncle was a big influence on my life as a youngster; we used to see him more than dad as uncle used to take Sundays off (same business with dad). Unfortunately, he died aged 33 in 1980, he is still missed.
8. My brother in law was renting a house from me (I was executor for my grandfather’s estate) and we had a handshake agreement on the rent. He didn’t pay for a while, a long while actually and the issue was resolved only when I handed the matter over to an estate agent. Then he never missed a beat (bastard).
9. I have a very trusting nature, see 9 above.
10. When I was 10, my mum whacked me with a wooden spoon (as was the custom of the day) and it broke as it struck my pointy elbow. I laughed after that.
11. I was born and raised a catholic but after years in the catholic education system, I made up my own mind and rejected it all. I consider myself an Atheist.
12. My kids are baptized. It will be up to them to continue to believe or not as they grow older.
13. Monty Python ruled my life in my teens. I didn’t need grog, drugs or tobacco, just give me the Ministry of silly walks.
14. I used to have a wog boy mo until I was 18. Dad never taught me to shave (he was never home).
15. I’m shocking at telling jokes but I can be spontaneously funny.
16. I’ve only ever had 3 speeding fines ever, in 22 years of driving. Until today when I received 2 for the same day, same street, one hour apart. FUCK*
17. I love the smell of Vera Wang on women. Takes me to a special place, my honey knows where.
18. I visited the Bronx in New York and survived. We went to a night market where they had everything from voodoo to kites. One of the guys I was with was adamant that he wanted a photo of the voodoo lady and he nearly ate his camera when the bodyguard said NO! F*CK OFF!!!
19. My favourite flower/plant is the “Bird Of Paradise” (Strelitzia reginae)
20. Finally, I was overseas when Collingwood won the flag in 1990. Just my luck! I was in Venice and I called home six times to get scores and get a feel for the game. The hotel phone bill was about $150, worth it!

* 21. I don’t normally swear, only when I’m really pissed off at myself.

Angels on a stage.

Tonight my daughter, performing as part of the National Youth Choir sang her little lungs out. There was much animation in the performance and all the angels sang with much gusto. As a parent, there is nothing more exhilarating than watching your child on a stage, especially one as important as the Hamer Hall at the Arts Centre, but it could have been at the local shopping centre singing carols, or at the high school performing in the school play. I’m sure all parents feel the same way. The last concert with the Vienna Boys brought a lump to my throat. There she was, sharing the stage with one of the world’s most famous choirs. It was awesome and brought a slight moistness to the eye.

My son has his life all mapped out. At the tender age of 7, he’s asking all the questions, getting advice and generally setting up his life in order to become an AFL footballer. He wants to follow in his father’s foot steps and play for, who else but the Pies. My mother asked him if he would like to help her make some meatballs the other night, which he did, then she asked him if he’d like to learn to cook, to which he replied that yes he would, but only on Monday, Wednesday and Friday as on the other nights he’ll be training or playing football. Mum said he was deadly serious. A year ago he wouldn’t even come to the footy, this year, something twigged and he wanted to come to every game, he cheered loudly and started to recognize players. It’s another little twang of pride when your kids voluntarily enjoy something that you do. Both are keen supporters and maybe, one day, my girl will be out on the ground singing the national anthem and my boy and I will be in the crowd roaring as the last words ring out.

* Bevis, your 20 things are coming, can’t promise when but it will be soon.

The Melbourne Cup post....

The first Tuesday of November has come and gone. What a lot of build up for the "Race that stops a nation", well most of the nation I guess, coz I missed it. In past years I would have planted myself in front of the tube and made sure I saw all the build up, the race and the post race gumph. This year was different, I found myself at a house with no TV. I was out in the garden, pottering around, putting up a fence and spraying weeds. By the time I looked at my watch, it was 3:20pm. Hmmm, I guess the race is over. I wonder who won? Care factor, very little. I used my mobile to get the results, "look at that, Makybe Diva won, good on her". That was it, no more thoughts about the cup. Really and truly, no horse was going to beat her, all the challengers were back in the UK or Dubai but they weren't here. Therefore, if she stood up, she would win and did so. Well Done to all concerned.
I just find horse racing in general to be a slightly less random form of Tattslotto, it only exists for the gamblers. Nothing else, that's the only reason they have it. If the gambling wasn't tied to the sport, would there still be horse racing. You'd like to think so, would it still have the huge prize money? Probably not.
The AFL has signed some sort of deal with Betfair and TAB Sportsbet to "control" gambling on AFL matches. Not sure how you can control betting other than to not allow betting. They say that players are not allowed to bet on matches as the players code prevents them from doing so. Yeah Right!
OK, so my fine slimy blog frog pal Bevis tagged me for "20 things about me". I'll start working on that, I don't think I know 20 things about me but I'll give it a go.

PS: Connan O'Brien did his own look-a-like session on his show tonight. As usual, people had to look like him. Here is a Stamp from Finland compared to Connan. Which is which?