Benny makes the big time.

Well it was on the cards, the big man from Geelong, Ben Graham, who gave up a season or two to try his luck punting in the NFL has won a job with the New York Jets. Fantastic effort that. It was questionable whether he would have even played for the cats this year, I'm sure they missed him, but fact is that he probably would have been a bench player at best and why not try your luck. As a punter, he can probably go on for at least another 5 years, maybe even 10. Another Aussie, Darren Bennett has been there for 11 years, he was named All Pro in his first season and many times after that as well.
Benny will match Bennett for length in his kicking game and from the reports, he spins the ball in flight so as to make it difficult to catch, good thing in the NFL, not good if you want to pin point Gary Ablett Jnr on the wing. So overall, Geelong fans while initially upset should be happy that his time away from our game has not been wasted.
Hurrah, Benny.

Out of context.

I was walking through town today, on my lunch break, when I came across two women talking about something. As they approached, I heard one say to the other "He's got the best nuts!"
Now, I didn't see any other he's around. My mind started wondering, what the hell could they be talking about, mine where securely hidden. No freeballing here.
Hmmmm...

The Fourth test and Dallas Cowboys.

Well we’ve got past the halfway mark of the 2005 Ashes series and the series is still alive, very rare compared to the past 10 series. The two remaining matches are live and the Aussies could still lose the Ashes. Prediction? I think Shaun Tait will come in for Gillespe who is badly out of form. The pitch at Trent Bridge is supposedly going to be a paceman’s paradise and will not suit two spinners. The groundsman has been making all sorts of noises that it won’t suit the spinners so even they are trying their best to screw with the Aussies minds. The batting lineup won’t change, I think Hodge deserves a go but he’s not from New South Wales! Katich will stay in.

I think the Aussies will prevail here and retain the Ashes, but it will be close. It has been absorbing cricket so far, about time too.

The leaves in the northern hemisphere are ready to change colour, so it must be time for the NFL to kick off with some practice matches. Tonight I’m watching the Cowboys vs Seahawks on Monday Night Football. I love this sport, it’s Chess on Turf. I could never understand the game, but I remember seeing it on late night TV with Don Lane. He explained a few of the intricacies and pretty soon it all made sense. The man that really cleared it up is John Madden, he is the best commentator on TV and he’s got his own strange habits. I understand that he drives a Winabago from game to game. So if the game is in Seattle this week and next week in Green Bay, he drives there. Also, he puts his “player of the game” on the side of his camper van with some sort of sticker/magnet arrangement. I think he’s afraid of flying so he keeps his wheels on the ground. [Must be costing a packet with fuel prices these days]

In AFL news, I’m over the season coz the Pies are so shocking lately, but that never stops me from speculating and barracking for any of the other Victorian teams. The Cats won this week (I tipped this!) with a very aggressive game and shut down the West Coast midfield. All the teams that have beaten the Coasters have been able to strangle the likes of Judd, Fletcher, Kerr etc. Good on the Cats, Honey will be happy. The only interest for me now is whether the pies can drop to last and get the number 1 draft pick. Is it that important, well, I’d say yes. While the rules are the way they are, it’s best to use them. You never know, there might be another Reiwoldt and Kositcke in the draft. That’s who we need.

Anyway, gotta go read some stuff.

Game Over.

I hate it when...

I hate it when you type a whole bunch of stuff and then Blogger loses it for you. I learnt early to type up a word document than cut and paste it into blogger. Job Done, but I forgot, started typing and lost it all. FARK!!

What do you think you are doing?

This is the way I imagine a conversation would go between the Smoking Mum In Tarago and I.

C: Hello.

SMIT: Hello. *cough*

C: I just noticed that you smoke in your car while driving to school with the kids in here with you.

SMIT: Well it's a habit I just can't shake. *hack cough*

C: I'm just concerned for the health of your kids, don't you think about the effects of 2nd hand smoke on them? It's not as if they can hide from the smoke inside the car.

SMIT: Umm... no, not really, do you think it may be harmful? *cough hack spit*

C: Yes, it's been proven many times that you are actually harming them, they could develop all sorts of problems and addictions just from inhaling your 2nd hand smoke. Here's some useful information.

SMIT: Gee, I never thought of it that way, maybe I've been too selfish. Thanks for helping me see the light. I better get myself onto those patches, eh? *cough cough*

C: that would be a wise decision. Now on your way SMIT, enjoy the rest of yours and their lives.

*Clokeeeey awakes from slumber and has real conversation with SMIT*

C: Hello

SMIT: What the F@*K do you want? *cough*

C: I just noticed that you smoke in your car while driving to school with the kids in here with you.

SMIT: What's it to do wiff you F@&Kface?. *hack cough*

C: I'm just concerned for the health of your kids, don't you think about the effects of 2nd hand smoke on them? It's not as if they can hide from the smoke inside the car.

SMIT: MY kids are alright, I don't need you do good F*#kers telling me how to raise my kids, why don't you just piss off *cough hack spit*

C: I don't think it's wise of you to talk like that in front of your kids.

Kid1: Mum said piss off, so piss off! *cough cough*

C: Umm, ok, if that's the way you want it. Here's my colt 45, I may as well short circuit the process. Bam, Bam.

*Clokeeeey wakes up again from the second nightmare*

Open letter to SMIT,
Stop doing it. Think of the children, surely you can wait 5 minutes while you drive to and from home. Kill yourself, but leave the kids alone. They are probably addicted already. Hopefully your not the type that belts them when they pick up the habit at age 13 too.
See you in the car park.

Clokeeeey.


note: no SMIT was actually shot, this is just a wishlist, guess which version is the wish?

Friday Night Lights.

I've just watched this movie called Friday Night Lights. I loved it.

If follows the fortunes of an American High school football team, highlighting the pressures these 17 year olds are under not only from the team and the school, but the whole town. I didn't realize the amount of pressure they are placed under for a high school sport. With their dreams and aspirations hanging on every play, these kids lives are made or broken on Friday nights.

While this is a sports oriented movie, the sport is secondary. The kids are the story and their families and everyone around them. Highly recommended. You might even feel a moistness in your eyes at some point.

The next dvd I want to get is Hotel Rwanda. I know that will be hard to watch, but I just have to.

PS: No mention about my football team this week, the Pies lost to the Blues in another disappointing game. Luckily I wasn't at the game and no where near a TV to watch it. I can't see us winning another game this year, so last place is looking good for us. Where has the season gone?

I'm calling you out.

Child abuse comes in many forms. There is the physical abuse, there is also mental abuse and then there is a hard to categorize type of abuse. It's sort of passive and probably a long term effect on children, a silent killer type of abuse.

[What are you on about, Clokeeeey?]

I'm on about this "parent" I saw this morning who was working on silently and deliberately bringing about the early demise of her children. She had a middle primary school aged child in the front passenger seat, plus 2 others in baby seats in the second row of the Tarago.

[Sounds pretty normal to me. What gives?]

Well, what disturbed my was what she was holding in her hand while driving. No, it wasn't a mobile phone, no it wasn't the herald sun. Yes it was a cigarette, a lit cigarette and she was puffing away, using the in car ashtray and just blowing away to her hearts content. Windows only marginally opened, but that really doesn't matter. No matter how wide open they are, the smoke still hangs around the driver.

What possesses a parent to smoke in a car with children on board. Do they just not care? I saw this again this afternoon, this time the windows were closed. Did she think the smoke would only go into her lungs and the kids will be safe as the bubble of stupidity that surrounds the driver will keep the air clean around the kids.

For fucks sake!

Last weeks paper had an article where the state government is considering legislation to fine people that smoke in cars where children are present. The question is, do we need legislation like this? Surely a parent that loves their kid(s) will not smoke in the car. Or maybe smokers just don't care about anyone else, maybe a fine is too lenient?

Well I'm sick of this type of abuse, so I'm calling the Tarago driver out. I have your rego and I'm not afraid to use.

EOD-808.

You should be ashamed of yourself, I loathe you. Give your kids a chance, they can't defend themselves. If you had driven close to where I parked my car, you would have heard a few well chosen, polite words. No point being abusive, I don't want to compound your kids problems with more abuse.

If anyone thinks this is a once off thing, don't, this is the 3rd time I've witnessed it and she never stops the car long enough for me to do anything about it. At least this time I got her rego.

Anyway, more sport later when the cricket finishes.

Look after your kids, you don't get many chances.

That second test.

Well, I have to eat some humble pie. Australia lost the second test. Let's put it into perspective, Ponting wins the toss and bowls (dickhead). Our top order scored bugger all runs and then will still manage to get within 2 runs.

I was glued to that last hour of the match, I had pretty much given up as we still needed 100 runs with only 2 wickets left. Well I missed the Warne wicket as I channel surfed, but as the run chase got close and the electronic scoreboard at the ground kept showing an ever decreasing number to win, I could not move.

It reminded me of the famous test match in 82-83 at the MCG, I was sitting in a banana lounge on the balcony of our holiday house for that summer, portable TV at my feet and I remember it was about lunch time. Mum was yelling at me to come down and eat lunch (hot dogs as I recall) and I just ignored her calls, there was no way I was moving from that spot The run chase was almost over, we were going to win, if I moved it would be bad luck, something would happen. I didn't uncross my legs, my arm stayed behind my head and that seemed to help Thommo and Border. But then, the fatal blow, my younger brother came out on the balcony and disturbed the picture, I yelled at him and moved, then had to chase him out of the room. 2 minutes later, Thommo snicks the ball to some pommy plod at second slip who dropped the catch, but actually bumped it up to allow Botham the opportunity to jump across and catch the ball before it hit the ground. I wanted to clock my brother for causing this catastrophe. I was gutted.

This time round, there was no interference from a younger sibling, the kids stayed in bed, this time I can say, it wasn't my fault. One of the guys at work did say he moved just before that last wicket fell, I blame him!

Congratulations to the Poms, they did play better for 3 days.

Also, congratulations to Shane Warne, 1 wicket away from 600.


Apologies to chickybabe and m!key for returning to sports. It's what I do, but I might return to tech talk another time.

Top Ten Turn Ons and Offs.

Top 10 Turn Ons.

1. A set of baps that just won't quit. Preferably fake and hard.
2. High heeled CFM boots.
3. Eyes that say CFM.
4. Long hair. Preferably brunette, If it's too short I won't be able to use it as reins.
5. Some hair downstairs but not a wolf spider.
6. I a little bit of a howler in bed.
7. Talks about footy in bed, Magpie talk only.
8. Has a Subaru WRX STi.
9. Can pole dance.
10. Brings a slab to a party.

Top 10 Turn Offs.

1. Hairy armpits.
2. Hairy top lip.
3. Hairy knuckles.
4. Muffin top dress sense.
5. Carlton supporters.
6. Farts.
7. Wears a thong and really shouldn't.
8. Lies about her age.
9. Likes Tom Cruise.
10. Uses an electric toothbrush as a vibrator, eeewwww.

OK, I'm looking around to see who I'm gonna tag. I reckon one of my pommy mates should have a go, so tag you Weasel (the cricket will still be there). I'd tag Bowlesy but his enjoying a break so leave him out of it.
Looking, looking, looking - I might just tag this one- Darcy.

Have fun with it.

Stumble on.

Thanks to my buddy M!key, I've taken to Firefox with a passion (sort of). One of the cool extensions I've found is called Stumble on. As the name suggests, you configure it to suit your tastes, such as humour, christianity, political and countless other themes and Stumble on will stumble around the net and find you web site that meets your criteria. You can then rate the site, bookmark it etc. Very random way to look around, I love it.

Bow and Arrow is one example of the sort of random things I've stumbled upon. Shoot an arrow straight up in the air and see what happens when it lands on you.

Also loaded the Wikipedia search extension which is quite handy.

In other news, I'm watching Mythbusters now and fair dinkum, I can't believe what they are doing tonight. They have another remote control car situation and it has been running out of control. The first time Adam was in the car, the second time it was heading for the bay. The point of the stunt? Whatever it is, they haven't made it work, yet.

Ferrari fights back.

I noticed that in the Hungarian grand prix, the Ferrari has finally put itself on pole position and seems to be going well in the early running of the race.

The Aussie cricketers are playing some sort of shire in blighty. On the frst day they managed to bowl 1 over. Typical English weather settled in and wrecked the day. Hopefully they'll get to play the other 2 days which is all they would need to wrap up a county match.

The Australian new soccer league the A-League pre season cup started this week. This is the new revamped Australian competition which has reduced the number of teams, has removed the dependancy on ethnic groups to support the teams and hopefully will appeal to the Australian masses that have for some reason or another, not embraced the round ball code. When I was a kid, the game was referred to as "wog ball", I'm not sure that it is called that now but it would explain why so many football fans didn't flock to soccer. I actually think it's more to do with the lack of scoring in comparison to other options in Australia.

The swimming world campionships are about to close in Montreal Canada, with the Americans and Australians fighting for bragging rights. We will always claim that given the size of our country (population wise) we should be lucky to win any event at all, but we have won about 10 gold medals to the Americans 15 or so.

Ok, that's it for now.
Game Over.