Friday, August 05, 2005

Top Ten Turn Ons and Offs.

Top 10 Turn Ons.

1. A set of baps that just won't quit. Preferably fake and hard.
2. High heeled CFM boots.
3. Eyes that say CFM.
4. Long hair. Preferably brunette, If it's too short I won't be able to use it as reins.
5. Some hair downstairs but not a wolf spider.
6. I a little bit of a howler in bed.
7. Talks about footy in bed, Magpie talk only.
8. Has a Subaru WRX STi.
9. Can pole dance.
10. Brings a slab to a party.

Top 10 Turn Offs.

1. Hairy armpits.
2. Hairy top lip.
3. Hairy knuckles.
4. Muffin top dress sense.
5. Carlton supporters.
6. Farts.
7. Wears a thong and really shouldn't.
8. Lies about her age.
9. Likes Tom Cruise.
10. Uses an electric toothbrush as a vibrator, eeewwww.

OK, I'm looking around to see who I'm gonna tag. I reckon one of my pommy mates should have a go, so tag you Weasel (the cricket will still be there). I'd tag Bowlesy but his enjoying a break so leave him out of it.
Looking, looking, looking - I might just tag this one- Darcy.

Have fun with it.


(kidsmoke) said...

Collingwood supporter.

Your world is black and white... yet somehow, just a beige, grey mess.

Tell the brunette Eddie with his CFM eyes to grow his fucking hair and put those, your favourite (losing) heels on so you can use his plaits as reigns and drive your small-minded selves right out of this near-forgiving town.

You are boring.

Clokeeeey! said...

Kid, you have no blog, you have no body. Skip on back to school.
You bore me.

Roguemaze Central said...

Who are the pies?

weasel said...

In answer to your summons:

10. Long legs
9. Can bowl like Darren Gough
8. Doesn't look like Darren Gough
7. Likes marmite
6. Thinks orang utans are sexy
5. Appreciates a good reach on Hickling or Ranworth (Bowles can explain)
4. Sarcastic and quick witted
3. Drinks beer
2. brunette
1. Not a New Zealander

Turn offs:

10. Looks like Maggie Thatcher
9. Looks like Merv Hughes
8. Likes to "talk" about "relationships"
7. Has a therapist, and a reason for going there
6. Wears a silver fern anywhere on her body or clothing
5. Likes alcolpops
4. Thinks President Bush "has some good ideas"
3. Has more than one cat
2. Eats cold hard boiled eggs. In bed.
1. Goes "whoo!" and waves her arms after doing a shot.

Edgebaston ain't your place, is it, my antipodean chum? Don't worry, we will collapse tomorrow and your mob can win again.

weasel said...

From the BBC: "England survived a last-ditch Australia fightback to complete a thrilling two-run victory in the second Test and level the Ashes series at 1-1."

Now that was an Ashes match!

In keeping with the twitter theme.

Are You a Twitter Ninja?