Saturday, August 20, 2005

What do you think you are doing?

This is the way I imagine a conversation would go between the Smoking Mum In Tarago and I.

C: Hello.

SMIT: Hello. *cough*

C: I just noticed that you smoke in your car while driving to school with the kids in here with you.

SMIT: Well it's a habit I just can't shake. *hack cough*

C: I'm just concerned for the health of your kids, don't you think about the effects of 2nd hand smoke on them? It's not as if they can hide from the smoke inside the car.

SMIT: Umm... no, not really, do you think it may be harmful? *cough hack spit*

C: Yes, it's been proven many times that you are actually harming them, they could develop all sorts of problems and addictions just from inhaling your 2nd hand smoke. Here's some useful information.

SMIT: Gee, I never thought of it that way, maybe I've been too selfish. Thanks for helping me see the light. I better get myself onto those patches, eh? *cough cough*

C: that would be a wise decision. Now on your way SMIT, enjoy the rest of yours and their lives.

*Clokeeeey awakes from slumber and has real conversation with SMIT*

C: Hello

SMIT: What the F@*K do you want? *cough*

C: I just noticed that you smoke in your car while driving to school with the kids in here with you.

SMIT: What's it to do wiff you F@&Kface?. *hack cough*

C: I'm just concerned for the health of your kids, don't you think about the effects of 2nd hand smoke on them? It's not as if they can hide from the smoke inside the car.

SMIT: MY kids are alright, I don't need you do good F*#kers telling me how to raise my kids, why don't you just piss off *cough hack spit*

C: I don't think it's wise of you to talk like that in front of your kids.

Kid1: Mum said piss off, so piss off! *cough cough*

C: Umm, ok, if that's the way you want it. Here's my colt 45, I may as well short circuit the process. Bam, Bam.

*Clokeeeey wakes up again from the second nightmare*

Open letter to SMIT,
Stop doing it. Think of the children, surely you can wait 5 minutes while you drive to and from home. Kill yourself, but leave the kids alone. They are probably addicted already. Hopefully your not the type that belts them when they pick up the habit at age 13 too.
See you in the car park.

Clokeeeey.


note: no SMIT was actually shot, this is just a wishlist, guess which version is the wish?

5 comments:

ChickyBabe said...

Nice to imagine certain things that will never take place, no matter how strange they may seem!

Janet said...

It's ironic, on the way to work Friday, I noticed a specials needs transport vehicle in front of me, no children in it, but the driver was smoking. All I could think of was how nasty that car must smell when those poor kids get in it. Sad. Oh, and hi, Michele sent me.

weasel said...

Clokeeeey, you transparent bastard. I see what you are up to. A trip to Thailand is cheaper, surely, and more likely to pay off?

Seriously, if you do ever have a chance to have a word in the shell-like of smoking mother, don't pass it up. She'll probably have a yell at you, but you'll sleep better. how old are the sprogs? If Aussie schools are anything like American and British ones, before too long they'll be taking a pop at her themselves after health class.

By the way, Bowlesy sent me.

elaine said...

...better still, get the kids to ride their bike/walk to school.

That way they get no second hand smoke, they get exercise so they don't join the childhood obeisity epidemic and mum gets to smoke in the privacy of her own home (and not in front of the kids). It's win-win-win.

Clokeeeey! said...

Agreed, the exercise option would be the right way to go, but I know that they drive for about 5K's to get to school.
Weasel, you've seen through the disguise, Michele's site is great to go to if you're feeling lonely (in a blog sort of sense) and you don't have to pay.

In keeping with the twitter theme.

Are You a Twitter Ninja?