Twenty things about Clokeeeey.

1. I learnt to swim at age 32.
2. I was born at 11:59 on the 5th but mum and dad decided to put 12:01 on the birth documentation so that I could have the whole of the 6th as my birthday.
3. I enjoy watching the NFL, even though I don’t fully understand the game and the tactics.
4. My uncle took me to my first VFL game, Collingwood v Fitzroy semi final in 1979.
5. Don’t tell anyone but up until I was 6 years old, I supported Carlton. I was coaxed across to Collingwood by my Uncle. My dad barracked for North Melbourne and my Grandfather was a Fitzroy man.
6. My dad used to work 10-12 hour days, 7 days a week (at his own business) so that we could have what he didn’t as a child. He was strict but fair.
7. My uncle was a big influence on my life as a youngster; we used to see him more than dad as uncle used to take Sundays off (same business with dad). Unfortunately, he died aged 33 in 1980, he is still missed.
8. My brother in law was renting a house from me (I was executor for my grandfather’s estate) and we had a handshake agreement on the rent. He didn’t pay for a while, a long while actually and the issue was resolved only when I handed the matter over to an estate agent. Then he never missed a beat (bastard).
9. I have a very trusting nature, see 9 above.
10. When I was 10, my mum whacked me with a wooden spoon (as was the custom of the day) and it broke as it struck my pointy elbow. I laughed after that.
11. I was born and raised a catholic but after years in the catholic education system, I made up my own mind and rejected it all. I consider myself an Atheist.
12. My kids are baptized. It will be up to them to continue to believe or not as they grow older.
13. Monty Python ruled my life in my teens. I didn’t need grog, drugs or tobacco, just give me the Ministry of silly walks.
14. I used to have a wog boy mo until I was 18. Dad never taught me to shave (he was never home).
15. I’m shocking at telling jokes but I can be spontaneously funny.
16. I’ve only ever had 3 speeding fines ever, in 22 years of driving. Until today when I received 2 for the same day, same street, one hour apart. FUCK*
17. I love the smell of Vera Wang on women. Takes me to a special place, my honey knows where.
18. I visited the Bronx in New York and survived. We went to a night market where they had everything from voodoo to kites. One of the guys I was with was adamant that he wanted a photo of the voodoo lady and he nearly ate his camera when the bodyguard said NO! F*CK OFF!!!
19. My favourite flower/plant is the “Bird Of Paradise” (Strelitzia reginae)
20. Finally, I was overseas when Collingwood won the flag in 1990. Just my luck! I was in Venice and I called home six times to get scores and get a feel for the game. The hotel phone bill was about $150, worth it!

* 21. I don’t normally swear, only when I’m really pissed off at myself.